I’ve been sitting for the past hour trying to think about what to write. For the past several months, I’ve been diligent about writing a blog post every Wednesday and posting every Friday. Sometimes ideas will come to me in a flash and I’ll write quickly and easily. Other times, I brew on an idea for awhile because it requires proper research and curation. Today, I’m stuck. I scanned through the list of “blog ideas” that I keep handy in case I’m in a situation like this, but everything on the list seemed mundane or uninspired. Earlier this week I thought about writing about sex in parking lots (after an interesting debate in which I discovered not everyone has experience with this act), but that was literally the entire post. I guess that’s the thing about being a writer: sometimes it’s easy and natural, and sometimes it’s really, really not. Sometimes words flow, and sometimes you’re completely stuck. The trick is you just have to keep going. Plow forward even if what you’re writing doesn’t make any sense, or you don’t see the point. Remind yourself that this feeling of “what the hell am I even doing?” will eventually fade. Maybe I’m just tapped out right now. I’ve been working on both my novel and a first draft of a new pilot, while working on revisions for a previous pilot. And that’s on top of working and being a mom and other life tasks. Maybe I’m just feeling frustration that it’s been awhile since someone has commented on a blog post and I worry they’re getting stale. Maybe life has just been so unstable lately that it’s easier to escape into fantasy-land and pretend than actually think about my current situation. I’m not sure. But, I’m trying. And sometimes trying is all we can do, right?
So, I’ll go to my default mode of communication when I’m feeling stuck. Here’s a list of random thoughts.
-I’ve been trying to be more social during the week. Two drinks on a Tuesday has a nice ring to it.
-My son is pretty much weaned, which means two things: my metabolism has slowed down significantly and my arousal has increased significantly
-Just when I was thinking everything I write sucks and I have no business writing TV, a pilot I wrote made it into the quarter-finals of a script competition
-Sex in parking lots / cars is so much fun and everyone should engage in it at least once
-Can we all agree that Oscar Isaac is the sexiest person alive?
-I wrote song lyrics for the first time because of my novel and ended up making a recording of me singing them. I played it for my husband who said it was catchy and it didn’t suck. I felt proud
-Shower cries are the best kind of cries
I’m sorry this post is all over the place. Maybe by the time I actually go to post this, I’ll have something more intelligent and insightful to say. Maybe not. And sometimes that’s okay.