This year will probably go down as one of my most eventful years yet. It was a year that started in heartbreak and has ended at the exact opposite of the spectrum, with my heart feeling so full. I grew a lot in so many different ways and am very grateful for every moment… the good, the bad, and everything in between. Here are some highlights:
Our 1-Year Anniversary
Our first year of marriage wasn’t typical. We didn’t plan on getting pregnant so quickly, and we certainly didn’t plan on going through a horrible loss together. And while there was a lot of struggle and strife, we ultimately came out stronger and closer as a result. To celebrate our first year of marriage (and mark the end of our Newlywed life), we took a trip down to Temecula, which was filled with wine, a hot tub, and delicious food. Not a bad way to start the year and our second year of marriage.
The Women’s March
After the heartbreak of the election and watching the Inauguration with horror and dread, the release of The Women’s March was definitely a highlight. It was humbling and inspiring to see so many women (and male allies) all over the world come together. It was the first time I felt hope in a long time. Plus, it was the first time I was able to talk about what had happened with my pregnancy loss so candidly.
While this year had many highlights, this was the low point. My Grandpa who had been sick for a couple months passed away in the Spring. He’s the first grandparent who I had to say goodbye to and his loss was tough. I still think about him every day.
Trio Trip to Tahoe
My two best friends and I have been going on yearly trips for the past 3 years and this year we went to the winter wonderland of Tahoe. To have 2 snowed-in days filled with no judgements and lots of laughter was exactly what I needed after an emotional few months.
This may go down as one of the best trips I’ve ever been on. I already described in detail all the ways Amsterdam healed me, and now looking back on it, it was definitely the turning point of this year. From the beauty of the city, to the fun times in Coffee Shops, and everything in between, Nate and I definitely got our groove back after this trip.
Obviously, this was one of the biggest highlights of the year. It was hard to keep the secret for the first trimester, especially while we waited on bated breath to make sure everything was okay. I feel very fortunate that we got pregnant easily and everything has gone smoothly this time around. Pregnancy has a lot of not-so-fun parts, but it’s also an amazing miracle to create a life.
Virginia Beach Trip
Shortly after (like 3 days) we found out we were expecting, my father-in-law was honored with a lifetime achievement award from the Navy. Spending time with my in-laws is always a blast, but spending time together in a beach house at the start of the summer was absolutely perfect. And the pride we all felt for my father-in-law was amazing. Now, I can’t wait to tell my future son that he was actually there when his grandfather was honored. Very special.
If you would’ve told my 20-year-old self that one day she’d be working on a TV show discussing “Spring Awakening” with Jason Katims, 20-year-old me would think she was dreaming. That’s kind of what this year has been like career-wise: a dream. The show is fantastic, the writers room was basically an All Star team of talent, and I got to write some promotional material, which just felt like the icing on an already delicious cake. I can’t wait for everyone to watch the show when it premieres in March.
Nate and I knew we wanted to do one last trip before our little guy came and I’ve always wanted to cross the Grand Canyon off my bucket list. The timing of the trip also marked exactly a year since our surgery, and as I previously described in this blog post, bookending those two dates just felt very wonderful. Plus, Sedona is simply beautiful.
The Baby Shower
My mom has been basically planning my baby shower since we got word the baby was okay, and all that hard work certainly paid off. It’s always wonderful to be surrounded by good friends and family who are coming together to celebrate love and a little human. And especially in a time when life has been busy and I haven’t gotten to see many people as of late, I felt very grateful to be surrounded by all that joy.
Writing a Play
Around this time last year, I didn’t know how to deal with all the emotions I was feeling about my loss, so I did what I always did in times of trouble: I wrote. However, I didn’t want what I was writing to feel like work, so I decided to write a play; an undertaking I haven’t done since I was about 9. I know nothing about playwriting and my intention was this was just going to be a cathartic exercise. And then when I finished writing it, I felt proud that I was able to process this and turn my heartbreak into something, so I decided to share it with a few people. I knew it was special when a friend of mine with a theater background came over with a bottle of wine immediately after reading it and told me it was one of the best plays he’s ever read. So then, I decided to share it with legit playwrights and they had encouraged me to pursue it in a serious way. So… I did. And while I can’t yet publicly share the exciting news, I can say there’s some exciting news involving the play that I can’t wait to share next year.
When I started writing this blog, it was created to be an outlet for everything I was dealing with at the time. I had no idea that speaking candidly about my pregnancy loss, scheduling, political frustrations, and everything else would impact me and others so greatly. It’s enabled me to reconnect with old friends, start new friendships, and truly find my voice. What amazing gifts. Thank you to everyone who has read it over the past year and a special thank you to the ones who have reached out and have said what a difference it’s made in their own lives. That has meant the world to me. Can’t wait to see what next year’s posts will bring (I promise it won’t be all baby stuff). Happy New Year, everyone! See you in 2018.