Diary of a Working Mom on Winter Break
Disclaimer: I wanted to write, but I didn't want it to feel like "work". This is the result and is not my actual journal.
My dog went missing. We’ll be reunited in a couple of hours, but still. This was not the way this break was supposed to start. It’s a fucking mess. I have to pick him up at 9, which feels like eons away even though it’s later than when I usually wake up (7.15 as opposed to 6). I’m one-tracked mind as I focus on getting my dog back and less about the normal morning routine. Did I pack my son’s lunch? What does he even want? Shit, we’re running late again. I’m so glad I don’t have to go into work today. I have no voice, but it’s probably from stress and yelling for my dog all day. It’ll come back.
He’s back. Thank goodness. I almost can’t believe it. I’m going to update the microchip info, call the vet, call Wag back, and then do nothing but cuddle with him the rest of the day. I can worry about all my other to-do’s tomorrow. I haven’t even made a to-do list yet. Maybe I can do that. Thank goodness he’s back. Christmas will now suck less.
*Binges all of Season 1 of Sex Lives of College Girls* Mindy Kaling doesn’t miss.
I need to pick up my kid and then we can play, and I don’t have to rush or worry about a script going out. And most important: my dog is home.
I didn’t do anything productive yesterday, but that’s okay. I didn’t intend to. I wanted to get my dog back and binge an entire season of a show that everyone raves about. Which I did. Power in relaxation. Today I have to get my car serviced and then I’ll be productive. File things. Make appointments. Catch up on emails and bills. Feel organized. And maybe I can watch an episode… or two of Sex Lives Season 2. It’s only Tuesday. Finishing Christmas shopping can wait. Opening Final Draft? Too ambitious. I just went through trauma. And just when I told my therapist I’ve never been better. My ex is texting me again. Maybe I’ll join Hinge.
Yesterday was actually pretty productive! I joined Hinge and immediately started chatting with some cool people. I realize I flirt very differently with men and women. I wonder if this is a universal thing, or just a me thing. Not worried about, but it is an interesting observation. I should be more confident. Why am I not more confident? Because shit keeps happening that tampers with it. I’m definitely sick. Like, with a cold. Not mentally. Although mentally, too, but I’m working on that. I’m supposed to make plans and actually see people this week, but all I want to do is lay down and cuddle with my dog. If I’m still sick like this tomorrow, I’ll go to the doctor. Okay, just a quick nap and then I can be productive.
Things I’m grateful for:
-Living across the street from a grocery store
-Running into my best friend when I told her I didn’t think I could see her because I was sick
-Quick office visits at Urgent Care
-east coast late night phone calls
-Friends understanding how important flexibility is
-This time of year
-My dog being back
How am I going to get through tomorrow and the next few days?
I was “fine” until Blue Christmas started playing after I dropped off my son at the airport. I swear my life is a movie sometimes. Maybe that’s why I’m a writer.